Oprah and Ellen are working together?

Ego trip goeth before a fall?

"So what are you doing cutting into my transmission, Oprah?" 

"Well I just took some time out from directing the space shuttle flight here at Main Mission Control to tell you that I know what you've been saying. I hope that doesn't rattle you. In fact I like your hustle kid!

If you'll excuse me I gotta go now, there's a situation. One of my many surveillance monitors has detected that the President has been in the washroom way too long! We originally had them set up as a way to find interesting guests for the show, but they're proving more useful than I ever imagined. Oh yeah, and I have to put 007 out of his misery. He's finding the dungeon confining."

Don't trust her Ellen, It's a trick!

So where's the fluffy cat that's supposed to be perched menacingly on Oprah's lap? Even more importantly are Oprah Winfrey and Ellen Degeneres working together - has the world gone topsy turvy? Maybe Oprah is trying to lure Ellen into a trap. Perhaps this is some kind of a trust test. Ellen has to politely refuse the cover offer to prove she's trust worthy, or push the idea to show that she has the right sort of ambition. Since the nature of any test is that it is arbitrary, then what is expected is a matter of second guessing! Then again you remember the way she set up Tom Cruise!

Oprah cares, and shares!

Of course absurd gamesmanship aside I think that every one knows what this really is, an absurd publicity stunt. Ellen is smart enough to know not to open her yap about Oprah in public without getting it cleared first. In fact it was probably Oprah's idea. That's why it is so important to make it clear that it was Ellen's idea. Lady O has been getting some blow back about hogging the cover of her magazine. Her ever expanding ego only left room for Michelle Obama to share the spotlight with, and even that got noticed.

a method to the madness?

So that leaves us with the question "What's with the cheap theatrics?" As has been mentioned on this blog, the View is on the way up. The relentless bitching has finally paid off. Barbara & Co are now No 2 in the highly valued 18-49 demographic. This is the group of women who have that coveted disposable income that can be squandered on New Age retreats, make overs, plastic surgery, self improvement, self awareness, flaky diets, serial weddings and multiple commitment ceremonies. So they are a consumer group well worth fighting over.

compromising relationships

I imagine that Oprah had initially planned to discredit Walters, perhaps using incriminating pictures. Gayle King might be used to lure Barbara into a compromising situation and then blammo - gotcha! That worked for J Edgar Hoover, using Clyde Tolson, on numerous occasions (and the answer to your next question is "No" Hoover and Tolson were not the inspiration for Batman and Robin! Hoover was the inspiration for Ironside. The wheel chair was thrown into give him an FDR association, and so put the anti establishment young viewers off the scent). Unfortunately for Ms Winfrey, Barbara Walters is well past the age where she can be expected to either compromise or incriminate herself.

If you can't beat em, find some one to help, and join them!

So that leaves Oprah with Plan B. If she can't beat the View on her own, or with the help of her Thursday afternoon ensemble, including Kelly Ripa's better half; then she's just going to have to resort to more extreme forms of co operation. That's where Ellen comes in. After O she's the biggest name in daytime. So maybe if they pool their resources, and work together they can beat this thing. It seems like a plan.

Has reality TV cornered the market on freakshows?

However if O really wants to reclaim her thrown, then she'd better get back to what made her great in the first place: human interest stories of the slightly odd variety. You know the kind of stuff - "and how long was it before you realized that you wife was throwing up after every meal?? ( lean forward and look concerned)?" or "when did you decide that you were really a man in a woman's body?" Not that I mean to trivialize these important issues. That's Oprah's job. It's a job she's done very well until she got side tracked by New Age spirituality and world domination. If she wants to get her daytime crown back then she'd better drop the hocus pocus and the abraca-Oprah, and get back to it.

Playing to win with every trick in the book

Or maybe she could drag Phil Donahue out of retirement to serve as her new co host? He'd be a Mr Spock to her Capt Kirk. Now that's a gimmick with possibilities! If the stunt works she could even develop it into a once a week View style forum featuring her, Phil and some other former notables in the industry. No Jerry Springer. He'd only sleaze the routine up. You got to find people who are serious but who can get the audience interested. now there has to be some one who's been kicked off of PBS recently! Why a 5 person forum could be come Oprah Winfrey's day time all stars! It would be worth it for the intelligent debate alone!

The again that sort of intelligent debate is really more of a FOX News thing.

This Old Haunted House

Remember to check out the colourful antics over @ Gossiprocks. There's something on going on with the Jonas Bros., beyond their latest Miley Cyrus style racial slur. Seems that the boys have just bought a new house and there's something strange in the neighbourhood; possibly supernatural and with gay overtones. Who ya gonna call? Top house designer Kenneth Bordewick! Hope he remembered to pack a Ouija board with the swatches!

As our daily dharma offering let us remember the wise words of Jethro Tull's Ian Anderson  - "Would you pay more to see me than you would for a really good hamburger? I wouldn't." A warning onto ego trippers? Man lives not by rock alone...

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