Saturday, January 14, 2012

Coming Soon from the National Enquirer

Posted by at 7:38:00 PM


upcoming stories:

The tragic last days of beloved TV icon Mary Tyler Moore are revealed in a shocking ENQUIRER exclusive report. Sources close to Mary, 75, describe how she is finally succumbing to the ravages of a deadly disease and a candid photo of the brave actress, looking weak and frail in a wheelchair, will shock her millions of devoted fans.
A special report tells ENQUIRER readers how to turn trash into treasure from items they find at neighborhood garage sales. Experts give top tips on how to make thousands of dollars in this tough economy while browsing through other folks' cast-offs. Examples include people who have made small fortunes by picking out discarded photos, records, sports memorabilia, paintings and even bicycles.
For nearly three decades O.J. Simpson has kept hidden the Kardashian family's deepest, darkest secret out of respect for Kim, Khloe and Kourteney's late father Robert Kardashian, the lawyer who helped The Juice escape a double murder rap. Now, a bombshell ENQUIRER exclusive reveals full details of that shocking secret and how O.J., currently serving a lengthy prison sentence for armed robbery, is finally making a stunning confession about the Kardashians' brazen mother Kris.


Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists
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    Warning to Children

    Children, if you dare to think
    Of the greatness, rareness, muchness
    Fewness of this precious only
    Endless world in which you say
    You live, you think of things like this:
    Blocks of slate enclosing dappled
    Red and green, enclosing tawny
    Yellow nets, enclosing white
    And black acres of dominoes,
    Where a neat brown paper parcel
    Tempts you to untie the string.
    In the parcel a small island,
    On the island a large tree,
    On the tree a husky fruit.
    Strip the husk and pare the rind off:
    In the kernel you will see
    Blocks of slate enclosed by dappled
    Red and green, enclosed by tawny
    Yellow nets, enclosed by white
    And black acres of dominoes,
    Where the same brown paper parcel -
    Children, leave the string alone!
    For who dares undo the parcel
    Finds himself at once inside it,
    On the island, in the fruit,
    Blocks of slate about his head,
    Finds himself enclosed by dappled
    Green and red, enclosed by yellow
    Tawny nets, enclosed by black
    And white acres of dominoes,
    With the same brown paper parcel
    Still untied upon his knee.
    And, if he then should dare to think
    Of the fewness, muchness, rareness,
    Greatness of this endless only
    Precious world in which he says
    he lives - he then unties the string.

    Robert Graves

    George Orwell’s 6 Rules for Effective Writing

    1. Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.

    2. Never use a long word where a short one will do.

    3. If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.

    4. Never use the passive where you can use the active.

    5. Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.

    6. Break any of these rules sooner than saying anything outright barbarous.

    Al Rio Art

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