Friday, October 12, 2012

Affleck on Lopez

Ben Affleck regrets the whole Bennifer thing. Let's face it, the whole deal was worse for business than NAFTA. Which is not to say that he doesn't like the artist formerly known as JLo, alias Jennifer Lopez,  personally. In fact he still keeps in touch with her - not literally but virtually. They exchange occasional text messages to praise and compliment each other. For instance JLo has text him about his new movie looking good. Benj has got one coming out so JLo's seal of approval is probably worth mentioning - if only for attention. Benj e mailed her about American Idol, which he thought was a  smart move. She quit that so it probably wasn't worth mentioning, even if you only mentioned it by way of the DailyMail.

Tips of the day: Celebrities should never change their names to anything shorter if they're eventually planning on changing their names back again. This is because the shorter name is easier to type, and so it will probably stick. JLo will for ever be known that way because it's just easier than typing in Jennifer Lopez. Then again they say that the point is to create something that lasts for ever - though in many cases the only things people create that seem to last for ever are their mistakes.

This useful tip is for bloggers. We're currently in an election. So if you want to get an edge with the search engines then just litter your post with political terms like presidential, worse than NAFTA, jihad, war on whatever, etc. Anything that could be borrowed from a political blog or talk radio and then fit into a general context might boost your blog like a dark horse candidate in the poles. So go on and broaden your constituency!

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    Warning to Children

    Children, if you dare to think
    Of the greatness, rareness, muchness
    Fewness of this precious only
    Endless world in which you say
    You live, you think of things like this:
    Blocks of slate enclosing dappled
    Red and green, enclosing tawny
    Yellow nets, enclosing white
    And black acres of dominoes,
    Where a neat brown paper parcel
    Tempts you to untie the string.
    In the parcel a small island,
    On the island a large tree,
    On the tree a husky fruit.
    Strip the husk and pare the rind off:
    In the kernel you will see
    Blocks of slate enclosed by dappled
    Red and green, enclosed by tawny
    Yellow nets, enclosed by white
    And black acres of dominoes,
    Where the same brown paper parcel -
    Children, leave the string alone!
    For who dares undo the parcel
    Finds himself at once inside it,
    On the island, in the fruit,
    Blocks of slate about his head,
    Finds himself enclosed by dappled
    Green and red, enclosed by yellow
    Tawny nets, enclosed by black
    And white acres of dominoes,
    With the same brown paper parcel
    Still untied upon his knee.
    And, if he then should dare to think
    Of the fewness, muchness, rareness,
    Greatness of this endless only
    Precious world in which he says
    he lives - he then unties the string.

    Robert Graves

    George Orwell’s 6 Rules for Effective Writing

    1. Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.

    2. Never use a long word where a short one will do.

    3. If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.

    4. Never use the passive where you can use the active.

    5. Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.

    6. Break any of these rules sooner than saying anything outright barbarous.

    Al Rio Art